Why I Lost Faith in Obstetricians After My Induced, Medicated, + Cesarean Birth

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I had one plan, and that was to have a completely natural labor and birth. I had dreams of my water breaking on its own and rushing to the hospital with whoever was there at the time. I imagined myself conquering the contractions like a boss and pushing her out with no problem. I didn’t get my way at all, and I blamed myself for that for a year until I recently stumbled upon a little piece of paper.
Why I Lost Faith in Obstetricians After My Induced, Medicated, + Cesarean Birth
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Let me start out by saying that there is absolutely nothing wrong with epidurals or C-Sections, I just truly believe that it could have all been avoided with a little more patience + communication on my doctors part, and a little more research on my part.

My Birth Story

My due date was May 15th, and my doctor told me they would induce on May 17th if I wasn’t having any contractions. I thought that was strange given it was only 2 days past my EDD… My friends told me their doctor wouldn’t do until at least a week past their EDD. However, she seemed completely confident with her decision, so I assumed that’s just how it worked. So I went along with it.
That night she told me not to eat anything past 12 a.m., and to be in for my induction at 6 a.m. I was having zero contractions in the morning, so they gave me Pitocin to jump start labor. Then, after an hour of excruciating contractions, they broke my water with a metal rod. I’m like “great, didn’t get my water to break on its own and I didn’t even know what it was like to be at home and experience contractions and wonder what’s next”. It was all being done for me and I was so upset.
Fast forward a couple of more hours, and the nurses were telling me I should just get the epidural if I was in so much pain, that there was no need to put myself through the pain if I didn’t have to. But that was the thing, I knew that. I knew that it didn’t matter if I got the epidural, that it wouldn’t have made me any less of a mother, it’s just what I wanted to do. They already robbed me of the first two things on my list, so I tried to push on a little bit more.
Instead of supporting me and talking me through it, they just kept saying that if I didn’t get the epidural right that second the anesthesiologist wouldn’t be available. So, being the scared, angry, and pained mama that I was, I gave in. I got the epidural, and it felt good for a while, but then I stopped dilating.

Every hour she would come to check on me, and every hour I was the same, I was stuck at 5 centimeters. Approximately the size of lime or a daisy, according to the random dilation charts I Repinned thinking that I’d eventually get to a 10. But I never did.
Around 5 o’clock, my last dilation check, I was still at a 5. I was hoping and praying I’d be at least a 6, but no, just a 5. I didn’t understand why my body wasn’t working; I was mad at myself. Then my OB looked at me and said the dreaded words I never expected to hear- “I think we should do a C-section”. I immediately started crying, begging her to give me a chance, asking her if there’s anything I could do. And her response?
“Well, you could keep going, but it could easily be 48 hours, your epidural will wear off, and the baby’s heart rate will slow, so you make your decision and I’ll be back shortly.”
Who the hell says that?! Talk about fear-mongering. It didn’t occur to me then, but most of my friends + family members labored for about 15-20 hours. I was only at 11 hours thus far, so I just do not understand what the rush was. So, in fear that I’d have the worst labor ever & that I could be putting my daughter at risk, I opted in. My biggest fear was coming true. I’ve never had a surgery, never even broke a bone, and now I was having major abdominal surgery. For a whole year I blamed myself. All the pain from recovery and heart ache I went through to get my daughter here, could have easily been avoided, and here’s why…

The Saddest Truth

I was sorting through old papers trying to get organized last month and I stumbled upon a piece of paper that made me rethink everything. It was a piece of paper from my OB, in my 2nd month of pregnancy, that stated that my due date was May 26th. That is 11 days later than the date they gave me for the rest of my pregnancy. Then I started remembering things, and the pieces started fitting together.

I remember very clearly going to my 3rd ultrasound and being told that I was “measuring ahead of my due date”. So based solely on the fact that my belly measured a week and a half bigger, they changed my due date. Each time they measured the baby, she was riding the 50th percentile line. Haven’t they ever heard of excessive amniotic fluid?
I started doing a crazy amount of research on obstetric malpractice and VBACs. That’s when I found out that, technically, they aren’t even supposed to administer Pitocin unless a woman’s water already broke and they need to start contractions, or if the contractions are not progressing fast enough. So, not only did they induce me 9 days before my real due date, but they gave me the pit-drip for no reason at all. Was inducing me that early just convenient for them? Was the C-Section convenient for them? Hell yeah it was! And I suffered for it.
They had to break my water because I wasn’t ready to go into labor. Either the Pitocin or the epidural stopped me from dilating. The whole situation was a mess. An unnecessary mess. Since there is nothing I can do about it now, my daughter is here and she’s healthy, I just promised myself that I would take every precautionary measure to avoid that mess next time.
I will not get induced, the baby will come when they’re ready.
I will get a midwife who understands my needs and doesn’t do things based off of her own convenience.
I will not get an epidural.
And I will have a successful VBAC.
If you’re pregnant and reading this, I truly hope that your doctors don’t take advantage of you too. Ask questions. Do research. Know your body. Be strong and hold your ground if you truly want something.
Here are some things that I recommend to potentially avoid my situation + that I will be doing next time:
1. Self-induce with Evening Primrose Oil, its a natural way to soften and ripen your cervix to aid in dilation
2. Use essential oils to aid in labor pains + progression: Lavender for back pain, anxiety + uterine pain, peppermint for nausea + back pain, myrrh + clary sage to encourage contractions, and Frankincense for uterine pain.
3. Exercise ball to prepare body for labor, to induce labor, + for pain during labor.
 Disclosure: I am not a doctor and cannot give you medical advice, this is just my experience and you can take what you want from it. Thank you for reading!


  1. Taylor

    October 4, 2017 at 9:30 am

    I am so sorry for what you experienced but thank you so so so much for the education & experience you shared. So thankful your baby is healthy & okay. It’s so important to hear stories like this – there are so many things we don’t know.

    1. throughdelaneyslens

      October 11, 2017 at 5:01 pm

      Exactly, I can’t change what happened to me, but what I can change is the attitudes and actions of others in regards to their medical rights + decisions. I’m glad you agree with me!

  2. Abbi Farmer

    October 5, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    Thank you so much!! You do not understand how bad I needed to hear this!! I wanted all of that as well. My daughter is almost 4 and I still blame myself and hate my doctor for cursing at me, telling me I can’t do “birth”, and ruining me with a C-section! I am not the same, it hurts to have sex with my fiance. And it depresses me to think about! So thank you!

    1. throughdelaneyslens

      October 11, 2017 at 5:04 pm

      Oh my goodness I am so sorry that your birthing experience affected you that way. It’s such a shame that after all we women go trough to bring our children into this world that we have to be taken advantage of + shamed during + after labor. Feel free to contact me any time via email if you have any questions or need advice! My email is throughdelaneyslens@gmail.com

  3. Abbi Farmer

    October 11, 2017 at 5:52 pm

    Thank you very much!! I appreciate that!! I will do that!

  4. Laura

    October 13, 2017 at 3:27 am

    Thank you for sharing! Feel like so many first time moms get pressured into things wether its epidural or c/section bc of the threat if if you dont do it now youll mess everything up. Its very frustrating! Unfortuantly many hospitals are this way in US bc they want you to have a baby in 5 hrs or less and rush women when an average birth is 15-20 hrs like you said. Also so sorry your doctor took you that early bc she should of bare minimum given you 1 week and 2 weeks max bc of things like wrong edd. I was pressured into getting epidural bc of right now type attirude and then it didnt even have time to take effect bc i had my daughter, 33 mins after it went in. Still so mad about that and mad about how hospitals basically are just full of greed and want you in and out just for money. Patient care is horrible

    1. throughdelaneyslens

      October 13, 2017 at 4:59 am

      So glad you agree! I have been put to shame for trying to speak out against medical malpractice, so it took a lot of effort on my part to be able to post this. I feel better knowing that I’m not crazy for feeling this way. I’m sorry you had to experience it as well. I swear (most not all) doctors care about their time + money more than their patients these days; it’s appalling. Thanks for reading<3

  5. julia

    November 18, 2017 at 8:45 pm

    Thanks for this post! Currently 40+5 days pregnant and was doubting whether it was normal that I haven’t been induced yet (I’ve read tonnes of posts and so many people are induced much earlier)…thankful my doctor is willing to let me go to 41+3 days before starting induction. Hoping baby still comes on her own in the mean time, but thank you for reassuring me that it’s worth waiting until baby is ready!!

    1. throughdelaneyslens

      November 20, 2017 at 2:49 pm

      You’re welcome Julia! I’m so glad that you’ve decided to wait, it’s the best decision you could make for you and your baby. I hope you have a safe and easy labor and birth experience!
      throughdelaneyslens recently posted…Ella Turns One | Fall 2017 First Birthday | PAMy Profile

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